7 News Stories You Should
Never Pitch Again

7 News Stories You Should
Never Pitch Again

Written by Aletheia
🕒 September 9, 2018

They’re the fallbacks.

The 2am-club-is-closing-make-a-move plan. We’ve all got them. The news story pitches we’ve tucked deep in the iPhone notes, only to be used when we over slept, over drank, or are in
the world’s largest news drought.

Much like those 2 a.m. decisions, there are (at least) seven of those story pitches you need to delete immediately.

 Fireworks Safety

I applaud your effort to save as many appendages as possible each Fourth of July, but I will bet my good arm that no full screen you put on the 6 p.m. news will stop your drunken neighbor from holding that Roman candle just a little too long.

told you so shrug GIF

Your New Year’s Resolution Is Doomed

We’re all human here, right? So chances are you know that making a promise to yourself on January 1st means by mid-March you’re planning to get it right the next year.

Only 8% of people keep their New Year’s resolutions. Let the other 92% eat cake and drink wine. You won’t change their mind with an MOS package of the most popular resolutions anyway.

How To Winterize Your Car

Here’s the deal: if you’re covering news in a cold market, viewers know how the hell to handle the cold weather.

If you’re covering news in a warm market, cars are built to withstand freezing temps. Please don’t go on television to remind people to park in their garage and give themselves extra time for the vehicle to defrost.

The Horrors Of Halloween Candy

Two things to know about parents, Halloween, and the trick-or-treating process:
          1. They’re not putting a reflective vest over a costume (but they will grab a flashlight and a kick-ass glow-in-the-dark candy bucket).
          2. You don’t have to tell them to carefully inspect each Tootsie Roll. They’re already doing that.

candy eating GIF

Bring Fido In From The Cold

If pet owners need to be reminded to bring their furry family members inside when it snows or the temperatures bottom out, don’t give them a warning with a VOSOT, just call animal control.

How To Drive In Traffic

It’s the holidays…or summer vacation…or the weekend. The highways are jammed, and people will follow too closely. Let it go.

Calories In Thanksgiving Dinner

It’s true. The average Thanksgiving dinner is 3,000 calories (and that’s without wine and dessert). But I promise you, you’re not convincing anyone it’s not worth it.

Image result for i'm not even sorry gif

Black Friday

Totally kidding. This one is TV gold. Who doesn’t love to see 23 people fighting over a microwave?

We all have those moments when we have to dig deep in the story-pitch pockets, but as with your ex, you’re way too good for these seven overused news stories, so throw 👏🏻 them 👏🏻 out!

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